On my Own Again!

Alrighty! While my love is off enjoying his cousin's wedding, I am in the apartment... using my time effectively? Okay, mostly effectively.

Buses, here in Surrey, are different than the ones back in Montreal. The outsides of them look very similar, but their interiors are another story.

The fare to get on one of these bad boys is cheaper than in Montreal, though I doubt these guys go as far as the others do. Also, they don't have the very awesome OPUS cards, which means I need to either have the exact change on me, or be lucky enough to by tickets at the vendors around town.

My love and I went cruising around on them the other day, just to get me comfortable with them. They have these awesome signaling signs, which update at every stop/intersection we get to, with a lovely lady voice announcing our current location. That is really clever, because it leaves me knowing where we are without either having to bug the driver or crane my neck and squint my eyes to spot street signs (that will be really handy in the dark and the wintertime!)

I have yet to get on the Skytrain, or even those buses that run on those fancy wires and I am very curious about them.. though, one step at a time. First I want to get used to the simple stuff, not get too far away from home base, and then eventually expand my horizons. Dipping my proverbial toe into the water before jumping in and possibly freezing in the water (or getting eaten alive by leeches)

I got kinda excited today, shopping around for jobs. I walked all the way over to Central City Mall, keeping my eyes open on my surroundings. I gave out a few applications at some of the boutiques and store within, and will of course keep you updated as to whether I land a job or not!

The mall is quite different from Fairview Mall in Montreal, though has a lot of the same flavours. It is an odd blend of higher end boutiques in a sea of lower end ones, whereas Fairview is now saturated with high end clothing boutiques as the lower ends get left in the dust.

It all makes sense though, when you look at the population here. You have many very lovely suburban homes, such as the one I am living in with my love (we occupy the basement), though you also have many mobile homes, older-looking condos and cheap-looking motels. I chuckle somewhat at the barbed wire I see lining some fences, and the security cameras.. though they also make me a bit uneasy. Do we really need that level of security in this neighborhood?

Got home weary of all the walking, though the weather was quite fair, 20c with sunshine! Made myself a chili, though it was made throwing the recipe to the winds, and am currently settling into a decent book, "The Sculptress" by Minette Walters, apparently some sort of murder mystery.. it has whet my appetite, I will tell you all whether it is worth a read once I am done with it!

Other than that... I will probably call up my love later on tonight, to simply tell him to have a good night, and promptly fall asleep..

A demain!
Melody

Fear and Loneliness in Surrey

Last night I had my first run-in with intense fear in my new environment. Went a little something like this:

My love has a wedding to go to this weekend, and well.. although I was invited to the wedding itself, I was not invited to the reception afterward. Which would leave me wandering alone on Vancouver Island for a few hours. Not to mention that I wouldn't even be sitting with him at the wedding, since he has the privilege of being an usher. And so I will not be going with him, instead remain alone at the apartment from Friday evening until Sunday evening.

Obviously I freaked. I didn't do the whole screeching 'it's not fair' crap. I merely fell into my sobs on the bed. Typical Melody, ask around, you'll see. My mind raced around the fact that I know absolutely nobody here, not to mention the fact that I do not know my way around the neighborhood... or even the street, with confidence.

To his credit he did his duty as a good boyfriend and tried to console me, trying to see if any of his friends would come over (no, since they do not know me and that would be odd) and giving me various options for things to do (such as explore, but I am dead scared of getting lost... and he is too far away to be of any serious help.. and I had my mother's voice in my head, 'what if something goes wrong? What if Melody falls into trouble, who will save her?')

Eventually he decided that today, after work, he would take me on the buses, so that I would become used to them, and also show me around at the same time. All I have to do is do the research first, check out the busing in the area around the house (there is a few) for when he gets back from work. I might also drag him for more groceries, so I don't starve during the weekend (I have a tendency to forget to eat when I am eating solo... and it is easier to forget when the fridge is running on empty).

All this reminded me of when I was really young, going on my first city bus ride alone, one of my first days of high school without a school bus to get me home. My mom gave me strict instructions to take 'this' bus, and I did. It was the wrong bus. It went the opposite direction. So instead of taking me home, it took me further away from it. I remember being so stiff with fear that I dare not get off, hoping the bus would eventually loop around and take me back. It never did. I ended up at the train station, in another town, being asked to get off. I started bawling my eyes out, and the bus driver was kind enough to call one of the bus officials with their fancy GPS systems (that was fancy back then, anyways... and HUGE) and the man took me to my door.

So... maybe subconsciously I am afraid of getting on a bus? I am afraid of being alone, and lost? Then again... who isn't? This is the price of my brave act of moving so far, having to tackle all of my fears head-on, because I haven't a choice in the matter.